So my house is infested with boogers and germs. It’s not fun, no sir, its really not. Back when I was youthful and didn’t have gray hairs and only had a husband and a house to care for, when I got sick it was annoying, but also kind of fun…I’d lay around ensconced in layers of pajamas, robes and blankets, litter the floor with my dirty tissues, drink giant glasses of juice and just carelessly leave them on end tables where anyone might see it or get to it. I’d watch hours of crap on tv and nap, and then I’d feel better after a day or two. Usually TEH SICK as I like to call it, (well and portions of the internet, but I digress) would be contained and my husband might not even GET sick.
Now we have a breeding ground of bacteria and boogers, and she is only like 2 feet tall.
It started 2 weeks ago…husband and I both were feeling gross, our throats hurt, our sinuses hurt, we were feeling so sick that we actually spent an afternoon alternating who naps while the other watches the kid. She was delighted because we let her watch about 10 episodes of the Fresh Beat Band back to back so we could accomplish this napping feat. Husband felt better after a day or two, I started to feel worse. Sinus headaches every day, stuffy nose, then runny nose, couldn’t sleep at night because of the boogs. UGH. Finally I started to feel better, but only after obtaining a Z pack from the doctor after a freaking hour and a half wait and a diagnosis of sinus infection.
Then the kid started getting snuffly. Coughing, runny nose, watery eyes. Crap! Try to get a 14 month old to rest, it doesn’t really work. She was still sleeping at night (phew!) but you could hear the poor thing coughing and sneezing in her sleep! We turned up the heat and the humidifier, and she for the next week would seem better kind of, but then would be worse again, naps have been a crap shoot, her mood is sort of manic (happy then horribly upset and inconsolable, boo!) and her nose is still running like a faucet. I spend my days chasing her around the house with a tissue and a bulb snot sucker. She hates both!! She hides and yells whenever I catch her!! Today though so did decide the snot sucker was kind of okay, and will now stand very still and squinch her eyes shut tight while I do it, ha!
Then on Saturday I woke up AGAIN feeling like crap. But the worst thing about being a mom is that when you are sick and no one else is home, you can’t just be sick, you are supposed to take care of everyone else, and still keep the house kind of clean and make dinner, and you really aren’t supposed to accidentally pass out while you are hanging out with the kid, who is playing quietly, which is why you fall asleep, but then you awakened either by her hitting you in the head with the remote control or by the sounds of her climbing up on the couch and slamming the wooden mini blinds repeatedly into the window. Whoops.
I think I’m really looking forward to when she is older and can do things for me, like carry mommy her tea on a silver tray and sit quietly at my feet and recite poetry to me while I am sick and napping. Yeah, that’s pretty much why anyone has kids, right?!!!
But uh, in the meantime, I don’t know how, but we need to get the boogs out of this house for good! I washed sheets and pjs today, and am trying to muster the energy to vacuum the floors and spray some disinfectant now that kid is asleep and the husband is here to help. But um…I’m sort of getting a sore throat right now….and so is he…
Oh god. This is it. Just throw a bio-haz-mat bubble thing over our house to contain us like they do in “ET” and call it a day!!