Okay, so lately I’ve been feeling kind of down. Probably largely due to the fact that i had a raging headcold/sinus thing for most of the month of January which left me cranky and tired and sickly and feeling sorry for myself every night.

But regardless, the other day I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and get out there and DO THINGS to change it! So my kind of late resolution for this year is to be adventurous, even with kid in tow!

To start off, I joined the world of MeetUp. Meetup is a website (in case you are unaware!) that basically lets you find other groups of like minded people and get together! Which sounds lovely when you think of it from a surface level, much like internet dating…but then when you really think about it, its a bit scary. I mean, who are these people I’m going to meet? Are they really who they say they are?

This is almost even scarier when you add a kid to the equation as you shall soon see! But anyway, I joined Meet Up, added a bunch of local mom’s groups (I had no idea there even WERE any! But there are tons!) and then lo and behold, started getting messages sent to me to meet groups of moms and kids! How awesome! So I accepted one invite to meet up with two other moms in my very own town. That seemed even better! This way the kid and I could meet these other kids and moms at the local park and stuff. I’ve been trying to get people to be our friend at Storytime at the library, but my child is the one who is running around the room hugging all the other kids during the stories, following the librarian to try to steal her book, banging on the chairs and then trying to lead an insurrection and get all the other babies to run and bang on the door…so storytime is perhaps not the best way for me to make friends!! But anyway…back to the meetup!

This one was meeting at the founder of the group’s house. One other mom already was like, yeah sure we’ll be there! At first they were meeting on a Thursday, and I work that day so I was all, “ohhh so sorry! Can’t come, working!!” So then they moved it to Friday, when I could totally come! I was all excited and hit YES and was nervous but happy about the whole thing.

Until the day of the meetup. When I suddenly realized: Dude, you are about to bring you and your tiny defenseless child to the home of a total. freakin. stranger. Is this a good idea? If you were meeting someone for drinks would you meet at the dude’s house? Did your parents teach you nothing?! Didn’t McGruff the Crime Dog teach you to take a bite outta crime!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ITS A TRAP! YOU ARE GOING TO BE SHIPPED HOME IN A BODY BAG!

None of my fears were swayed at all when I decided to chat with a dear friend of mine via text message while I sat around waiting for the kid to finish her nap and us to go drive to our death. She was like, “What? You are meeting for the first time at her HOUSE? That’s weird.” I was like..”Yeah I know but I didn’t think it was weird til now!” and she’s all, “Well, hopefully your husband knows the address, though if he doesn’t hear from you you will probably already be dead and your body hidden in the house!” Great. Just great!

So anyway, I get there, the house looks innocent enough, its pouring so I call to let her know we are here but waiting out the rain a bit and she sticks her head out and seems normal, so that was good. Finally we go in and…

It was actually quite lovely! Ha! What a boring ending to a story, right? I mean, her kid was super cute, she was very nice. The other chick bailed, and there was cake and taco dip so it would have been really sad if we’d bailed too! So we chatted and her kid sat cutely as she’s younger than mine and mine ran around and pointed at things and played pretty nicely (and hugged the other kid of course) and then we came home. Totally unscathed! We might even meet up again sometime!



Today my kid took a miraculous 2 hour and 15 minute nap. It was absolute heaven! During this time I snuggled up on the couch next to her, caught up on my dvr’d episode of “Rachel vs Guy”, napped myself, and then watched more cooking shows the kid never lets me get near during daylight hours. I also ate some pirouette cookies. yum!

So anyway, watching Rachel vs Guy and then seeing a commercial for a show where they run around eating spicy foods made me start thinking about…

The Jobs I would be AWESOME AT (But am not awesome enough to land, apparently)

1.  Hosting a food tv show. I can’t cook like a pro, but I do feel I have a rather sparkling personality and would be great to show people how to cook! I make yummy food, just hack my fingernail off in the process. We could call it something catchy like, “Delicious Disaster”!

2.  Hosting a travel show a la “Great Hotels”. I know that Samantha Brown is just darling, but I am SURE I can go around to fancy fun places and lounge on furniture and drink fancy drinks and jump on the bed of the presidential suite with just as much gusto, if not more! In fact, I know for a fact I’m delightfully personable. Just this afternoon when I was buying wine on my way to yoga I dazzled the Liquor store clerk (who coincidentally looks just like Quentin Tarantino but taller and twitchier) with my dialogue about how I was about to eat a chocolate bar in the parking lot of the gym. He told me I was adorable! Hmmm…. anyway…..

3.  Flavor creator- Like how they have people at Ben and Jerry’s whose entire job is to mix together delicious things and then make them into ice cream and sample them. I could totally do that. Or mix together different kinds of whatever. I like mixing really.

4.  Mystery Shopper or Restaurant Critic. I would be SO good at visiting places and then secretly judging them. I mean, I do that NOW for FREE!

5. Party Planner- I think I would be super awesome at planning really fun themed parties and things for rich people. Well, for ANY people, but only rich people seem to hire that kind of thing. I wouldn’t really want to deal with their sass or their demands, but I would be great at finding cute decor and adorable edibles to go with anything!

So there you have it: the Ultimate list of dream jobs. Oh but i just thought of like 2 more! But a list of 5 is more rounded than a list of 7, so I guess I’ll save the rest for another day! Time to go iron some clothes….which leads me to the list of things I wish I could pay someone else to do for me. But that list is really kind of ginormous. Oh well!

Its a New Day!

I am updating this blog tonight for no other reason then to tell the world that I am finally feeling better! Hooray!! It was something like magic: I went to bed last night feeling awful and miserable and boogery and sad.

I woke up and felt like I’d slept for days! My nose is mostly clear! I can breathe! I don’t have a sinus headache! I still had energy after work, fetching the kid, making her dinner (OMG AND SHE ATE AN ENTIRE QUARTER OF A QUESADILLA HOORAY) and all that fun stuff! It is now almost 9:30 and I don’t want to die!

I think my husband is more relieved than me. I’ve been a terrible terrible person the past three weeks. It’s been bad. Real bad.

I feel like I have a new lease on life: Tomorrow the kid and I can actually DO something! I will not be (quite) so desperate for her to maybe kinda possibly nap! And maybe I’ll even get to that ironing I’ve put off for a million years. Well, okay, that last part will probably not happen, but hey, you never know!

Sick of TEH SICK

So my house is infested with boogers and germs. It’s not fun, no sir, its really not. Back when I was youthful and didn’t have gray hairs and only had a husband and a house to care for, when I got sick it was annoying, but also kind of fun…I’d lay around ensconced in layers of pajamas, robes and blankets, litter the floor with my dirty tissues, drink giant glasses of juice and just carelessly leave them on end tables where anyone might see it or get to it. I’d watch hours of crap on tv and nap, and then I’d feel better after a day or two. Usually TEH SICK as I like to call it, (well and portions of the internet, but I digress) would be contained and my husband might not even GET sick.

Now we have a breeding ground of bacteria and boogers, and she is only like 2 feet tall.

It started 2 weeks ago…husband and I both were feeling gross, our throats hurt, our sinuses hurt, we were feeling so sick that we actually spent an afternoon alternating who naps while the other watches the kid. She was delighted because we let her watch about 10 episodes of the Fresh Beat Band back to back so we could accomplish this napping feat.  Husband felt better after a day or two, I started to feel worse. Sinus headaches every day, stuffy nose, then runny nose, couldn’t sleep at night because of the boogs. UGH. Finally I started to feel better, but only after obtaining a Z pack from the doctor after a freaking hour and a half wait and a diagnosis of sinus infection.

Then the kid started getting snuffly. Coughing, runny nose, watery eyes. Crap! Try to get a 14 month old to rest, it doesn’t really work. She was still sleeping at night (phew!) but you could hear the poor thing coughing and sneezing in her sleep! We turned up the heat and the humidifier, and she for the next week would seem better kind of, but then would be worse again, naps have been a crap shoot, her mood is sort of manic (happy then horribly upset and inconsolable, boo!) and her nose is still running like a faucet. I spend my days chasing her around the house with a tissue and a bulb snot sucker. She hates both!! She hides and yells whenever I catch her!! Today though so did decide the snot sucker was kind of okay, and will now stand very still and squinch her eyes shut tight while I do it, ha!

Then on Saturday I woke up AGAIN feeling like crap. But the worst thing about being a mom is that when you are sick and no one else is home, you can’t just be sick, you are supposed to take care of everyone else, and still keep the house kind of clean and make dinner, and you really aren’t supposed to accidentally pass out while you are hanging out with the kid, who is playing quietly, which is why you fall asleep, but then you awakened either by her hitting you in the head with the remote control or by the sounds of her climbing up on the couch and slamming the wooden mini blinds repeatedly into the window. Whoops.
I think I’m really looking forward to when she is older and can do things for me, like carry mommy her tea on a silver tray and sit quietly at my feet and recite poetry to me while I am sick and napping. Yeah, that’s pretty much why anyone has kids, right?!!!

But uh, in the meantime, I don’t know how, but we need to get the boogs out of this house for good! I washed sheets and pjs today, and am trying to muster the energy to vacuum the floors and spray some disinfectant now that kid is asleep and the husband is here to help. But um…I’m sort of getting a sore throat right now….and so is he…

Oh god. This is it. Just throw a bio-haz-mat bubble thing over our house to contain us like they do in “ET” and call it a day!!

A Mystery!

Yesterday afternoon, the husband, kid and I were hanging out in the basement, playing with the crazy new cubicle of tents/tunnels/ball pit she got from one of our friends for Christmas when my husband noticed we had a missed call on the land line phone. “Do we know anyone at this number?”, He asked, rattling off a number that sounded kind of familiar, but not really. Hmm, I thought. Oh well! Suddenly, I heard the phone ringing again. I ran up the stairs, tripped over a highchair, baby doll stroller and almost fell into the granite counter and missed the call again. I look at the phone..same number! Huh, who calls twice in like 5 mins when they got an answering machine the first time?

I check our messages…2 new messages! The plot thickens!

I listen to the messages…”You have one new Sprint text message to landline. First message: Hey–” says the nice robot lady. Huh, weird. I think. I delete and listen on, “You have one new Sprint text message to landline. Got new phon-”

Huh, someone is totally texting our landline phone? How does that even happen? What’s worse, they seem to not realize that they have no idea who I am or that it isn’t a cell phone. I hope they don’t keep on text– Ring ring!

Oh man! The phone rang again! I looked at caller id: same number! This person was planning on harassing me for days!!

I pick up…”You have one new Sprint text message to landline: sorry was in the store but am out of the store now this phone is tricky to get used to-”

Suddenly I realized. Oh no. It was almost worse than a stranger…I quickly called to confirm: “Mom, did you just get a new cell phone?” “I did!! Did you get my text messages? I have no idea what I’m doing!!”

And this is why they should not be selling my mother technologically advanced things. She never leaves her phone on, and can’t figure out how to turn it off when it IS on, but she managed to text my house?! One of a kind that woman, one of a kind!

In other news, I made two kinds of soup this weekend and the kid got to play in snow for the first time in her entire life. She LOVED it! It was pretty awesome to see her flop down in a pile of snow and pull her mittens off, touch the freezing snow and promptly give her mittens to me so she could get them back on her hands ASAP. ha!

Oh and because I am pathetic and have no friends, I joined a bunch of Long Island mom Meet Up groups. I have a playdate with mystery people on Friday! I am a bit concerned, its like I ventured into online dating, but with moms and babies instead. What will we talk about? I can’ t escape out the bathroom with a kid in tow if it goes awry! What will I do?!

I will keep you apprised of the situation as it unfolds!

First Post!

Oh look at this, I’ve got a new blog! I’ve been thinking about changing my food blog into a blog of another kind for awhile now, but then I was thinking, “Hey but what if some day you have time to actually post food there?! What if you somehow become better at photographing food and then one day people want to read it!? What then!!?” So, I left that blog alone for now. And have started a new one. I had grand plans today to write all about myself, my kid, how I’m really loving that I only work 2 days a week and spend the rest of my days with my spunky and adorable 14 month old, who just turned 14 months today!!

But then she refused to take a nap. And then when I finallly tricked her into a nap by taking her for a brisk walk in the stroller outside (yes, its like 35 degrees and windy but desperate times call for desperate measures! She was bundled!) and then I even successfully got her back inside and on the couch still asleep!

And then she woke up a whopping 30 minutes later and screamed her face off for about 40 minutes, refusing any forms of love, distractions or bottles and I didn’t know what to do. And then she stopped that but by then, I could not get near a computer to save my life!

And even just now I was like, great, I’ll set up this blog after bed and be awesome about it! But then she pooped in the tub and my husband is at a work thing so I had to deal with it all by myself (for the second time this week! But that’s another story….) and then she made me put her to bed early but rolled around and alternately laughed and got me nervous she might start screaming for a freaking HOUR.

So now she’s finally asleep. My nerves are shot. And I can’t remember what I was doing just now in the first place….welcome to my life!

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